Ask a reasonable question … get a stupid answer.

question-mark I decided to take a page from Saresa's Hermia's playbook and ask Twitter to do all the work for me. Little did I know Twitter wanted to find out about things other than WoW, so now it's time to pretend to be an authority on things. Wheee!

TheMightyGresh:* _do you really want to huuuurt me? Do you really want to make me cryyyy?_*

Yes. Warlocks are some of my favorite PvP targets, mostly because I still remember how warlocks work. Other classes might have tricks up their sleeves, but I know your arsenal pretty well. Plus affliction warlocks are a pretty good challenge, since unlike many casters - who I can lock out with my eight billion interrupts - affliction has a ton of instant casts, so I have to settle for a general silence and a beating with a sack of quarters.

Oh, and Fear? So underpowered. Hello, diminishing returns; hello, Every Man for Himself.

Trizophenie: Cloud or Squall? And why?

Neither. I haven't actually liked a Square-Enix hero since the days of FF6. Cloud's a doofus who's too wrapped up in himself to see the bigger picture of "hey dummy save the world," while Squall is a whiny emo boy-- wait a sec, I'm seeing a trend here. To contrast, I did kind of like Tidus, I just wish his dialogue writer hadn't made a concerted effort to make him sound like an idiot. Then again, Tidus kind of was an idiot, wasn't he? "Durrrr what do you mean Zanarkand's destroyed? Why is Auron sparkling? Durrrrrrrr."

Sabiba:_ here's a question for you: Why does blizzard hate hunters in PVP?_

I'm going to assume this is an arena question, because hunters seem to be doing fine in Battlegrounds. Here's your answer: they hate everyone, at different times, in arenas. Reason being, as they stated in an interview a while ago, arenas were basically shoved clumsily into the game and it's been hell for balance ever since. Frankly, I'd be just as happy if Cataclysm brought with it the removal of arenas.

Llanion: What toppings go on a correct pizza?

Anything except anchovies. The last pizza I had was the Socrates' Revenge from Dewey's Pizza: olive oil, minced garlic, Mozzarella-Fontina blend, spinach, black olives, green olives, Feta cheese, red Onions, tomatoes. Fantastic!

Krizzlybear: I have excellent rhythm, but I can't get the crossfader to work properly. Any suggestions? Oh right, WoW questions only...

Heck if I know, man, you're a full two difficulties above me. It would help if the crossfader locked a little more solidly into the 'center' position; as it is I tend to swing too far back when I hit a crossfade spike (I spike left, then accidentally go all the way right instead of back to center). I found that rather than trying to use it the way the tutorial shows, I positioned it between two of my fingers with my hand laying flat on the turntable controller - I tend to get better control that way.

Sleepyrabite: As I have nothing to ask about for WoW... What's your current favourite offline game?

Funny you should ask - I just recently moved the rather clumsy "Hey Phil Whatcha Playin'" feature to a site I recently found that is designed for exactly this kind of thing - here's my Backloggery! I'm currently dividing my attention between Half-Minute Hero, the Persona PSP remake, Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box, and (as you may have surmised from my answer to Krizz) DJ Hero. When my girlfriend is in town, we also play some co-op Dynasty Warriors 6 Empires. I also admit curiosity about Dragon Age: Origins; however, I may be the only gamer alive who didn't really like Torchlight.

Ladygypsy: how is mana pronounced? MAN-a or MAHHHN-a? (srsly, I can't pronounce squat in WoW.)

Well, I know how I pronounce it, but I wasn't sure it's correct, so I asked an authority. Apparently "mah-nah" - your second pronunciation - not "man-uh" is the correct pronunciation. It's apparently a Maori word! I've learned something new today.

Lightning Round! Nibuca asks 12 million questions!

  • _If you were trapped on a "Lost" isle.. and had access to only one game/console/pc which would you choose? _WoW. Surely no one expected that, but look at it this way: I can try and get my guildies to send a helicopter to get me off this stupid island!

  • If a boss falls in the game.. and the last of the raid members dies at the same time.. is it a wipe? Nope. Sure, you have to get back up and repair and heal, but you still get phat lewtz, making it not-a-wipe.

  • _What pie is best for T-day? _Pumpkin.

  • Should all pie be topped with whipped cream? No - apple pies, or other warm fruit pies, deserve ice cream. Any pie with a meringue doesn't need whipped cream - it brought its own topping to the table.

  • Is ice cream optional? For most pies, yes. I really only prefer it with fruit pies. It'll do for whipped cream in a pinch. Again, though, not really necessary for meringue pies at all.

  • Boxers briefs or commando.. which do you think @brigwyn_ chooses... {evil grin}_ I refuse to consider Brigwyn's undies or lack thereof; the fact that he showed up in my dreams on tour with Daft Punk was bad enough (at least he was fully clothed).

  • Harvest festival overview.. Grinding reputation with the "running circles in Dalaran" faction... RP for the uninitiated... _That's not a question, but lucky for you, I'm nice. I know as much about the Harvest Festival as you, I'm not sure what the second one is, and I'm not on an RP server anymore and never RP'd when I _was on one. NEXT!

  • How is the "Mr T hand grenade" better/worse than the zombie infestation from last year?

    • Better, for people who didn't enjoy the zombie infestation: you can click off the Mohawked buff instead of hoping for a healer to pass by, or waiting to zombify then exploding.

    • Worse, for people who did enjoy the zombie infestation: sorry, you don't get to fight your own faction and infect them with zombiedom.

    • Better, for everyone all around: the Mohawked buff isn't going to stop you from going about your business.

    • Worse, period: it doesn't really lead up to anything. Unless... Mr. T is the final boss of Cataclysm?! So now we know where Deathwing's been hiding all these long years: the A-Team van.

There, I think I won! Now if only there was a prize.

Only a student… (RP)

Razuvious In the Alliance stronghold of Wintergarde Keep, Commander Eligor Dawnbringer educates Alliance adventurers about the many bosses of Naxxramas. About Instructor Razuvious, he has this to say:

"Pay attention. This is Instructor Razuvious, Kel'Thuzad's appointed trainer of all death knights. It is said that his own technique is so potent, only a disciple of his could possibly withstand his might."

Due to neglecting my RSS reader, I hadn't seen Anna's Friday 500: To Battle!, but when I did, it struck me as the perfect opportunity to imagine a meeting between master and student. At least, I'm imagining it - to poor Zulfon, it's life or death. Also: 500 words is kind of hard - I had to keep finding words to remove... sorry ‘bout the actual story, I don't do this kind of thing too often!

Fine, fine, since you asked

Linedan tagged me by name at least, but technically Anea's original post was a trap into a meme! Sneaky space goats. Anyway, question and answer time.

  1. What is your name and where did it come from?

    • Zulfon's name is fairly adequately explained in this earlier post.

    • Queklain's name... well, there you go.

    • I'm feeling generous, so here's some more alt names. Valmafra, my blood elf hunter, is from the same source material. She used to be called Eladhon, which was generated by the random name generator in WoW and had the unfortunate side effect of my guildmates referring to him as ‘Aladdin.'

    • Xajek, my troll priest, is another random name. In this case the generator generated ‘Xaj' and I added ‘ek' pretty much by tapping a random vowel and a random consonant.

    • Galehorn and Whitebough, tauren shaman and tauren druid respectively, got their names by being modeled vaguely after existing tauren names.

  2. How old are you and what is your birthday?

    • Queklain: "Time is meaningless to the dead. My birthday is every day, as far as I'm concerned, since I'm still alive. Undead. Whatever. Flee, mortal, you're beginning to bother me..."

    • Zulfon: "I was mebbe 20, 21 years old. Jus' a few years as an adult. Now dat I'm like dis, though... I'm as ageless as he is." She jerks a thumb to indicate Queklain, who is nodding off in a chair. "Birthday, though, is August sevent'. And don' you forget!" She grins a little bit, exposing her small tusks.

  3. Are you in love and with whom?

    • Queklain and Zulfon (in unison): "Hah!"
  4. What is your favorite mount and why?

    • Queklain: "My Frostwolf Howler. It was truly an honor," he says, his voice dry, "to help our Horde brethren in Alterac Valley, for which they bestowed upon me this wolf." Under his breath, he mutters, "They sure as hell wouldn't have made it on their own."

    • Zulfon: "Malfas, mah purple nethawing drake. ‘S a sign of my pact with de Nether Flight, and mah work underminin' Illidan. And a far deal comfier than dem bony birds mah brethren ride."

  5. Do you prefer a certain type of Azerothian meal and where do you get it from?

    • Queklain: "Gnome."

    • Zulfon: "Dat's disgustin'."

    • Queklain: "Don't knock it till you've feasted upon its freshly-slain corpse."

    • Zulfon gags a little. "Food don' quite taste like it used ta, so I go for de more exotic flavahs. Spiced wyrm burgers, that kin' of ting."

    • Queklain: "Gnome's kind of exotic."

  6. You know those giant mushrooms in Zangarmarsh? What is your theory on how they came to be and why are they so huge?

    • Queklain: "You know how mushrooms grow on dead things, right? Well, look at Draenor. I rest my case."

    • Zulfon: "Ain't nothin' right about Outland. I worry less ‘bout de giant mushrooms and more ‘bout de ones walkin' about."

  7. If you saw the Lich King walking towards you, what would you do?

    • Queklain: "Oh, doubtlessly flee in abject terror. I'm surely no match for a man who - oh, wait, who can be wounded by a single apothecary with a batch of blight. Bah." Queklain waves his hand dismissively. "Lich King, Bitch King."

    • Zulfon: "Well, it's not like it'd be de first time, now is it?" She grins again, this one a bit more predatory. "Dere's always a price to pay for betrayal, and we bot' done betrayed each otha, so dere'd be hell to pay all around."